{"id":28228,"date":"2020-06-02T07:00:50","date_gmt":"2020-06-02T11:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/restonic.com\/sin-categorizar\/night-divorce-couples-sleep-separate-beds-57620"},"modified":"2022-03-03T14:18:39","modified_gmt":"2022-03-03T19:18:39","slug":"night-divorce-couples-sleep-separate-beds-57620","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/restonic.com\/es\/blog-es\/night-divorce-couples-sleep-separate-beds-57620","title":{"rendered":"Time for a Night Divorce? Why Some Couples are Opting to Sleep in Separate Beds"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TimeIf you\u2019ve ever lost sleep because of a snoring, insomniac partner, then this is a story you can\u2019t afford to skip!<\/h2>\n

Is an old practice \u2013 partners sleeping apart \u2013 catching on again? It sure looks like it. Estimates vary, but a study from Ryerson\u2019s Sleep and Depression Laboratory<\/a> in Toronto pegs it as high as 40%. Meanwhile, a 2015 study from the National Sleep Foundation says one in four couples are choosing to slumber solo.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve seen television sitcoms from the 1950s, couples slept in the same room but always in separate beds, whether it was Lucy and Ricky from I Love Lucy or Ralph and wife Alice of The Honeymooners. That wasn\u2019t because of snoring or restless spouses, but due to FCC regulations, which thought depictions of people in the same bed implied indecency \u2013 and that other \u201cS\u201d thing we do in bed. And because it was 60 years ago, keeping things wholesome was the name of the game.<\/p>\n

Why couples are starting to split at night now<\/h2>\n

Today, many couples are going the separate beds route, but for different reasons. Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip go their own ways each night, as do director Tim Burton and his partner Helen Bonham Carter. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West also slept in individual bedrooms<\/a> for a while, but only during her pregnancy.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not difficult to imagine why couples are making that choice. Especially if you\u2019ve ever had your sleep disturbed by a bedmate who snores<\/a>, thrashes around like a tuna being hauled into a fishing boat, is hot as asphalt or cold as icicles, works shifts, rises early, coughs, sneezes, steals the sheets and rolls up in them like a burrito, wakes up to look at his or her phone, or constantly gets up to go the bathroom. You get it, right?<\/p>\n

But our society has a bit of a hang up over couples that don\u2019t sleep together. It\u2019s often interpreted as a sign of trouble in paradise and a lack of intimacy in the relationship. That\u2019s why many twosomes often choose to not disclose their sleeping habits to others. So those numbers above may actually be higher \u2013 and on the rise.<\/p>\n

Good & bad: the impact of separate beds on relationships<\/h2>\n

While partners may get better quality sleep separately, which is the key motivator for individual beds, what impact does going disparate ways every night have on a relationship? Some research says that you\u2019ll miss out on that surge of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone released with skin-on-skin contact, like cuddling or spooning.<\/p>\n

And you may not feel as satisfied with your partner. A study from the University of Hertfordshire found 90% of couples that slept within inches of each other or touched during the night, claimed to be happy with their relationship<\/a> compared with two-thirds who slept more than 30 inches away or had zero contact.<\/p>\n

\"Time\u201cThe negatives definitely outweigh the positives when it comes to couples sleeping in separate beds,\u201d says Dr. Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist. \u201cI treat a small percentage of couples who sleep in separate beds, even separate bedrooms, because one partner snores, has sleep apnea, suffers from allergies or is an insomniac.\u00a0The benefit is a better night\u2019s sleep for the afflicted. The feedback I hear, though, is that this puts a wedge of distance between the partners.\u201d<\/p>\n

And there\u2019s often resentment too since the partner who does not have sleeping issues often feels lonely and shortchanged on intimacy that only comes with spooning and cuddling together in bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese folks generally accommodate and get used to sleeping solo, and then when one wants to tip the scale and try sleeping together again, it\u2019s problematic because they\u2019ve become used to nocturnal isolation,\u201d explains Dr. Walfish.<\/p>\n

And one more important drawback, spontaneity and frequency of sex decreases for couples that sleep in separate beds.<\/p>\n

Possible solutions for tired twosomes<\/h2>\n

Before you and your beloved opt for a night divorce, consider a couple of other possible solutions that may help you sleep together \u2013 peacefully. It might be as simple as upsizing your mattress<\/a>. Some research suggests couples are more content and get a better quality of rest in a larger bed. Perhaps now is the time to upgrade and get that king-sized one you\u2019ve been coveting.<\/p>\n

And while we\u2019re talking new mattresses, shop for a mattress that reduces motion transfer between two people on the same mattress. Might we suggest a Scott Living Mattress<\/a> to solve that particular dilemma\u2026<\/p>\n

And one final suggestion, some data says that going to bed at the same time may be the solution to many of the common problems couples might have sleeping together. Estimates say that 75% of twosomes do not go to bed at the same time. There\u2019s usually someone who delays bedtime in favor of surfing the net, reading or watching television. It\u2019s worth a try!<\/p>\n

How do you sleep? With your partner or without?<\/p>\n

Rest well & wake up ready to go!<\/h2>\n

Better sleep gives rise to better mornings, bringing your goals into focus and dreams within reach. Hungry for more sleep info? Dig into these posts:<\/p>\n